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It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then... just to loosen up.
Inevitably, though, one thought led to another and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone, "to relax," I told myself, but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.
That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't help myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau, Muir, Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!" "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.
"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors. They didn't open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster.
This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.
I never miss a TA meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. The road to recovery is nearly complete for me.
Today I took the final step... I joined the Democratic Party.
Save your butt, get a colon screening TODAY
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Reply to:
Posted By: Offie on August 21 2007 at 10:41:09 AM
I'm thinking that this is a political view. I wonder how how many Republicans and Democrats race sprint cars with the World of Outlaws and how their political affilation effects their racing? Are wondering and thinking the same thing? Dammit, whats the number to TA?
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LOL another country heard from, Florida lol
I think Nellie might get us in deep doo do for just knowing him lol
Save your butt, get a colon screening TODAY
For complete line of Sponsor Awards check out
MarshallTownLaser.com
Duane Davis
Laser Engraving
641-751-7777
101 N Center
Marshalltown, Iowa
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