Forum: HoseHeads Sprint Car General Forum (go)
Moderators: dirtonly  /  dmantx  /  hosehead

http://www.timesrepublican.com/News/articles.asp?articleID=10222

Friday, June 08, 2007- Time: 7:49:43 AM CST
>> Search our 7-day
>> archive of stories:
>>
>>
>>
>> >>
>>
>>
>> Toilet paper bandit could face three years in prison
>>
>> By KEN BLACK
>>
>>
>>
>> It's not quite 25 to life, but stealing toilet paper
>>from the Marshall County Courthouse could prove costly for one Marshall
>>County resident.
>>
>> A woman was discovered taking toilet paper from the
>>courthouse Monday, according to police reports, something she has
>>apparently been adept at doing for a quite a while.
>>
>> No one could remember exactly when, but toilet paper
>>started disappearing at "unusually high rates," even for county employees,
>>said a source close to the problem. In other words, something didn't smell
>>quite right.
>>
>> It had long ago been suspected that the problem was more
>>than just overactive bowels, but no one could quite prove it. That is,
>>until the culprit was caught red-handed by authorities.
>>
>> "A courthouse employee saw her walk from a storeroom
>>carrying a bag of toilet paper," said Marshalltown Police Chief Lon Walker.
>>
>> The woman allegedly involved in the situation, Suzanne
>>Marie Butts, has been referred to as the toilet paper bandit by some county
>>employees.
>>
>> Though she apparently has a concern for hygiene, she may
>>find herself in a messy situation.
>>
>> Because of prior convictions, Butts faces up to two
>>years in prison - for three rolls of toilet paper. Despite what some may
>>consider a harsh penalty, Supervisor Gordie Johnson was not sympathetic.
>>
>> "We have three strikes and you're out and I consider
>>each roll of toilet paper a strike," he said, tongue in cheek.
>>
>> Butts has prior theft convictions, as well as several
>>other theft charges which are pending.
>>
>> ---
>>
>> Contact Ken Black at 641-753-6611 or kblack@
>>timesrepublican.com

Save your butt, get a colon screening TODAY

For complete line of Sponsor Awards check out 
MarshallTownLaser.com

Duane Davis

Laser Engraving 
641-751-7777
101 N Center
Marshalltown, Iowa 

You have to be kidding...a woman named BUTTS...stealing toilet paper...and getting 3 years in the pokey. You can't even make that stuff up.

Former Owner/President of FAST and Black Swamp Media
Group. Currently just another fan in the stands.

Paging Chuck Shepherd.......... This is perfect for "News of the Weird"!!

I heard about this BEFORE it made the newspaper, some things indeed are to dumb to be made up!

lol

The Judge was feeling crappy about this case and Ms Butts is scared shitless to think she may be sent to the can for 3 stinkin years.

According to the County attorney, the whole deal smells like a conspiracy

The paperwork has not been completed yet as of the last report.

Save your butt, get a colon screening TODAY

For complete line of Sponsor Awards check out 
MarshallTownLaser.com

Duane Davis

Laser Engraving 
641-751-7777
101 N Center
Marshalltown, Iowa 

This is a bit reminiscent of Michael Kenyon, also known as the Illinois Enema Bandit from the 70's. It seems that good old Michael would break in to various college girl's dorms and rob them. Before leaving, he would tie them up and give them an enema. After he was finally caught, Frank Zappa wrote a pretty cool song about him (appropriately titled "The Illinois Enema Bandit " ) .

Ol' Frank would have probably written another one about this woman if he were still alive.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No matter where you go, there you are.

Bub, Frank may not be around to write a song but how about Moon Unit or Dweezil Zappa?