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Forum: HoseHeads Sprint Car General Forum (go)
Moderators: dirtonly  /  dmantx  /  hosehead

Topic: something to irritate everyone
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nodust
MyWebsite
March 08, 2007 at 02:04:16 PM
Joined: 11/26/2004
Posts: 3334
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SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?
A northern fairy tale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairy tale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this .."

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides


Save your butt, get a colon screening TODAY

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Duane Davis

Laser Engraving 
641-751-7777
101 N Center
Marshalltown, Iowa 

DuchessJane
March 08, 2007 at 02:31:28 PM
Joined: 01/08/2005
Posts: 229
Reply

I always thought that *any* post by you was meant to irritate everyone.

Take me off your mailing list, by the way. I got all of those jokes 7 years ago and they weren't funny then.

:)


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nodust
MyWebsite
March 08, 2007 at 02:33:59 PM
Joined: 11/26/2004
Posts: 3334
Reply

lol


Save your butt, get a colon screening TODAY

For complete line of Sponsor Awards check out 
MarshallTownLaser.com

Duane Davis

Laser Engraving 
641-751-7777
101 N Center
Marshalltown, Iowa 

Twenty8
March 08, 2007 at 09:38:08 PM
Joined: 12/03/2004
Posts: 1330
Reply
This message was edited on March 08, 2007 at 09:39:15 PM by Twenty8

You having a daily internet connection beats all those tired yuks



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