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Forum: Oklahomatidbits.com General Forum (go)
Moderators:  /  David Smith Jr

Topic: Salina Highbanks Speedway Sold??
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David Smith Jr
MyWebsite
January 28, 2007 at 11:52:49 AM
Joined: 11/20/2004
Posts: 9152
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Buy Speedway?"
by: Ed Goodspeed
Salina Evening Post

SALINA- Rob Walton, Chairman of the Board of Directors of Wal-Mart, Inc. announced today that Wal-Mart is currently negotiating the purchase of Salina Highbanks Speedway. The announcement comes amidst a flurry of speculation surrounding the sale of the track.

Walton did not announce details of the negotiations, but did release some of Wal-Mart's plans for the facility.

"We plan to re-name the track, 'Sam's Club International Speedway,' and we hope the new name will usher in a new era of quality. We want to upgrade the facility to provide our customers with the best possible experience," Walton said.

The proposed "upgrades" call for several changes to the rules and regulations at the racetrack.

Racers would only be able to use auto parts purchased at Wal-Mart or Sam's Club stores, and would be required to leave the bar code and price tag stickers on all racing equipment.

"They are going to take my tools and gave me a nametag and one of those little guns that scans bar codes," sighed four-star cashier Chris "Eagle Eye" Peepers. Under the previous owner, Peepers' official title was technical inspector, or tech man.

"They will pay me minimum wage to scan parts all day, I don't even get to measure anything. And what's worse? They are going to replace me with a (expletive deleted) machine!" Peepers shouted. The potential owners plan to install several "self-checkout" machines in the technical inspection area, where racers can scan their own equipment, assuming they have a valid Sam's Club membership card.

Peepers would not be the only track employee forced to change jobs. Herb "Skunky" Lager would also be affected.

"They want to close down the beer shack because they want the track to be more family friendly," Lager said, "So if the deal passes, I'm going to be the new greeter. And I'll also need to see your valid Sam's Club card."

Another proposed feature of Sam's Club International Speedway is a series of speed bumps on each straightaway. According to Walton, the speed bumps will help reduce the risk of accidents.

Racers would not be the only group affected by change under the new owners. According to Walton, the speedway's concession stands and gift shops will sell their wares in bulk in order to pass the retailer's savings on to the customer.

"I don't know how anyone could eat a trash bag of popcorn and drink 48 cans of pop in one night, but at prices this low, you'd be a fool to pass these deals up," said concession worker Saul T. Pickles.

In order to shop at the new track, and watch the occasional car race, fans will be required to register for a Sam's Club card.

If the deal clears, Sam's Club International Raceway will be unveiled at the start of the 2007 racing season.


David Smith Jr.
www.oklahomatidbits.com

sozo
MyWebsite
January 28, 2007 at 06:38:20 PM
Joined: 09/19/2005
Posts: 328
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Somebody obviously has too much time on their hands.LOL


God made dirt,man made asphalt.

David Smith Jr
MyWebsite
January 28, 2007 at 09:54:17 PM
Joined: 11/20/2004
Posts: 9152
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For those who didn't read through all of the above, and apparently there are those who just read headlines only, this was a fictional post that I found concerning Salina Highbanks Speedway.


David Smith Jr.
www.oklahomatidbits.com

OKCFan12
MyWebsite
January 29, 2007 at 01:14:25 AM
Joined: 04/18/2005
Posts: 4764
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yeah David I got that once I got to Sam's Club Int Raceway part. There would only be 1 reason Wal-Mart would ever buy a track and thats to tear it down.

Bunch of capitalist bastards. Hey everyone do whats best for your community and go support your local family-owned grocery stores. The prices may be a tad bit more......but at least then you're paying for a family's food on the table and not a bunch of rich pricks to go spend 48 weeks of the year on their brand new yacht.

If our economy ever hits the fan....and eventually it will.......our communities will become what they use to be. With everyone in it playing their own vital part to keep it goin. For instance in every communtiy you would need Locksmith's, grocery store, doctor and/or hospital, farmers, etc. etc. etc. The days of driving 50 miles round trip to and from work will be over after the oil is gone. Especially since GM and Ford (with the fed governments help) wants to sue anyone that wants to avert the disaster by gradually bringing in the alternative energy sources.

O crap, sorry ya'll I'm in the wrong forum to rant......usually I save it for the Main Sprint Car forum.


How much would could a wouldchuck chuck if a 
wouldchuck could chuck would

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